MAKE SUICIDE
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¾    HOW TO MAKE A COOL SUICIDE...

½        by Cromax of Alchemy

¹Hi  there  folks!  I've got something
interesting  for Ya!  Are You boring?
Don't  You  know,  what could You do?
Don't  You?   Just make a suicide!  I
have some cool tips and tricks, which
explaine    You    how   to   arrange
interesting suicide:

²1.   Buy  short piece of rope and tie
it  to  the  heater under Yer window.
Now  take  a penknife and hide him in
Your  pocket.   Next  open the window
and  tie  rope  to Yer legs.  And now
just   jump   through   the   window,
screaming  "Hey  people!  Why are you
looking  at me?" or "I'll never go to
the school!" or something else.  When
You  will  be  hanging on rope, pluck
out penknife and simply cut the rope.

³2.    Next   one   method  is  a  bit
expensive,  but  also  very  exiting.
All  what  You  need is a grenade and
thread (wow, it's rhyming!).  Now tie
the  thread  to  the  split  pin  and
swallow the grenade (thread should be
hangin' out of Your mouth).  Now find
somebody  (even  better  if  You like
this   person   not  too  much),  and
explain him, that You want to extract
Yours  teeth.  Give him end of thread
and ask him to pull it.

¢3.   Some  people  kill  himselves by
turning on the gas.  But my method is
more  exiting.   Turn the gas on, and
¶¢wait, till You feel strange odor (You
have to close all windows first).  If
something  is  wrong  with Your head,
then   put  the  gas-mask  on.   Wait
another    few    minuts   and   call
fire-departament.  If You have strong
nerves,  You  can  wait till somebody
ring  at  the  door,  what  causes an
explosion,  but  when You won't wait,
then  use  lighter.   It's fast, it's
cool, it's noisly.

¼4.   Go to nearst railway-station and
wait  for any train.  When it will be
comming   closer,   jump   on  track.
Effect's guaranted.

½5.   Last  one way is coolest I know.
Tie  two  thread  to  split  pins  of
grenades  and  second ends keep free.
Buy  (or  borrow) an anvil and tie it
to  the  rope.   Place  now  electric
chair  in the middle of the room, and
hang  over  it  anvil.  To the end of
anvil's  rope  tie  grenades' threads
and  handle  this  in one hand (first
hide  grenades  in the pockets or sit
on them).  With second hand catch the
electric  chair  handle.   Now relase
throads  and  fast  pull  the handle.
That's all.